Midnight philosopher

I am so stressed out it's not even funny. My life feels like a centrifuge and I feel like a small white tissue being tossed around among bigger, more durable and experienced clothing. What soothes me is that I know that somewhere down the line I will be clean and fresh, I will be warm and dry and I will be ready to face the day but the process is putting my endurance to the test and I can actually feel it physically.

I know that I put myself in this position, but I cannot help to wonder whether my life is steering me or if I am steering my life? I guess, in life, you have to do a bit of both, steer and be steered, or you will miss some of the wonders it brings.

But the question is how.

Can't Buy Me Love

Okay, this movie is so cute, can't believe I haven't seen it before. They really knew how to make them movies in the 80s... Shan't complain though, saw the last Batman movie at the cinema a couple of days ago and it sure as hell was worth every crown (though I must say the cinemas are making us pay outrageous amounts of money these days). Still miss the Joker though, R.I.P Heath Ledger, a hell of an actor!

I'll let you have the song too, it makes me want to dance! I'm not sure that says a lot though, everything seems to make me want to dance these days! Which reminds me, having a vodka redbull with 99% vodka and the remaining part redbull is so not a good deal! I should shoot the bartender we ordered from yesterday - the only thing that's stopping me is that where I live it's a miracle if you get more alcohol than you ordered, you almost always get less so I guess you could say he was being generous...

Can't Buy Me Love - The Beatles

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Plaza Los Dominicos

Jag saknar att ligga på rygg i gräset på Plaza Los Dominicos 

med värkande avslappnade muskler och känna doften av 

dagg och kolla upp på himlen som verkade så otroligt nära 

och på något sätt tror jag att jag visste det redan då att det 

var det jag skulle sakna mest för det är tystnaden som 

berättar allt det där viktiga som bara ryms mellan raderna 

och i luften mellan orden och 

i 

det 

vakuum som uppstod i min tystnad i gräset i daggen som 

pressade svalt mot min varma hud kunde jag känna det 

avstånd som låg mellan mig och jorden därunder, den jord 

jag tillhör men som inte tillhör mig än och jag kunde se 

avståndet och tiden som skulle separera mig så snart och 

det bara snurrar, det bara snurrar och jag är så himla yr och 

jag vet nu eller jag börjar förstå att i den där tystnaden i 

gräset på Plaza Los Dominicos kunde jag finna lugnet, 

kanske för att stjärnorna var mig så nära intill eller kanske 

för att jag var rosig om kinderna och jag vet nu eller jag 

börjar förstå att jag funnit en vän där i gräset, en vän som 

håller mig hårt, stryker mig över ryggen och berättar för 

mig att allt kommer att bli bra igen, och det är okej, 

men 

min vän är så långt bort nu och det är så jobbigt att vara 

stark ensam och jag tror att det var det jag visste när jag låg 

där i gräset och tårarna tyst men bestämt strömmade ned 

för mina varma kinder. 

 - Litage, 8/3-2012

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I'm up thinking about things, and I have a feeling this will happen quite a lot these coming weeks... Feeling is tricky, but prioritising time seems to be my greatest issue these days. It feels like I don't have enough time on my hands to do all the things I want to do, and even though I could probably tick some things off if I had a to do-list, I feel I haven't done them enough. I wish life wasn't limited by time, but then again that would probably not be true in  practice, because then actions and experiences would slowly loose their value. I think one of humanity's biggest quests is figuring out what we really want. That's where I'm at right now. What do I want? And if I actually do figure that one out, do I dare go after it?

Thinking about it that way makes me wonder if what's stopping me from learning what I really want is the fear of not daring to go that extra distance to get it once I know.

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Familia

This is the evidence that blood is thick... Pure love

Warrior

I am in love with fighting movies, not sure why, I guess I got used to them when I was a kiddo and watched all the Rocky movies and the Karate Kid ones. Speaking of which, have you seen the "new" Karate Kid film that should actually be called Kung-Fu Kid? The Karate Kid story has always been great and I can sort of get why they wanted to make a remake of it, but please get the name right! Kids these days confuse the new Karate Kid with the old one and think that this is the original and it's not even  about karate!!!

Anyways, so I watched this movie "Warrior" yesterday and it got me thinking...

How come more guys aren't gay?

I don't know if I have time to grow up right now,

I'm not done being a kid

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