Happy New Years!

Here I am, cleaning and packing (habit much?) and having - not so much to say actually. This blog thing has started to seem pretty distant lately and I'm pretty sure I'm not the blogging kind. Updating this thing has felt pretty exhausting and life-draining on latter days and I think that, apart from the pause that is bound to happen while I'm off to Chile, I might be taking an even longer pause from the blog.

With that said, I just thought I'd wish people a Happy New Year!

Puritan - Widowspeak

I was wandering around the LPs in an old independent record store with M when suddenly something that fell into my taste was playing. I know the store from when I was little and my father and I would dust off the second hand records looking for something interesting so I also know that the staff know their music - hence I asked for the name of the band and voila! Widowspeak! Njoy

Now I'm gonna take a quick shower, then I'll go for a quick shopping tour with my mom, then I'll quickly come back and continue my nightmareish packing that has taken over 50 % of the total floor area of my room. Then I'll quickly clean some and quickly put a chicken in the oven, haha. As you may realise my writing has not been activated in a while. Oh, and before I forget - Happy Lucia!

No mike tonight

I realised all my posts lately have been about music so I thought I'd give you a pic from these days. I jumped the Open Mike Nite tonight for a few different valid reasons, but I'll bear it in mind for these coming Wednesdays just in case.

I tried a new make-up this weekend, think it turned out okay. I also tried taking a picture of it (in the bathroom - yes!), that felt awkward which I think may be proposed by my beautiful pose.

Aren't we just terrified?

Open Mike Nite tomorrow, will I dare go through with it?

Roslyn - Bon Iver & St Vincent

Mas Que Nada

Mas Que Nada - Sergio Mendes + Brasil 66
Gathering strength to clean this dojo up and cook some food before people arrive. Mas que nada.

Crimson and bare as I stand, yours completely

Cold - Aqualung & Lucy Schwartz
People! And all you Twilight-sceptics, I think I've said this before but, if not for the drama in itself, see the Twilight-movies for the music's sake. The soundtracks are scarily good! I mean just listen to this piece - beautiful and sad, but beautiful

Birdy.Birdy.Birdy.

Okay, so I've looked into the girl a bit more. She's only 15 which I find hard to grasp, and there's a song she's done even better than Skinny Love(!) in my opinion. Also a cover.


The A Team - Birdy (Ed Sheeran Cover)

She recently released her first album and I've only had the time to listen to one of her own songs, but that one is pretty good. Another thing I've noticed is that she has a Paolo Nutini-like tone to her voice - maybe that's what makes it so good?



People Help The People - Birdy

Cut out all the ropes and let me fall

Skinny Love - Birdy (Cover)
I was going to bring up another theme this evening but I thought this song felt a bit more appropriate considering my current state of mind. I am so darn sleepy! But I am also in a very cosy mood meaning, I can feel christmas approaching, and the snow, and the need for candles and tiny little shimmering lights making me feel warm under my blanket. I feel pretty slow, because I am sure most of you know this already, but I recently discovered this cover version of a song that is very dear to me. I don't know why, but it feels like the song gets me in stead of the other way around, which is pretty special. Okay, I'll lay off the writing now, listen and enjoy. And light a candle, it's like therapy - I promise! 

Oh, and for you who haven't heard the actual version (which really is the best) type in Bon Iver now, now, now!

I told my kids I ate all their Halloween candy

Because it was fun and it made me laugh out loud.

Run the city of breaking creation

Rock Bottom - Pablo
I don't really have a lot to say today, I just wanted to express my love for children and I think this song match kids pretty well for some reason. They're small little angels, although a bit confused at times. Working with kiddos is the shit, at least for now. Righ now it's exactly what I need!

I walk to the horizon, and there I find another

Anywhere Is - Enya

This song sort of describes my current state of mind. Off the record I just bought the tickets to the Breaking Dawn premiere tomorrow which I'm looking forth to. It'll be fun! Now I'm off to pep my brother into cooking lasagna while I keep working on "writing my song". It has a preset melody by the way, but paranoid-I will have to try and change it a little in case it resembles any other song. Cheers!

Love.

Source: Lykke Li's facebook fanpage

I got 99 problems, but a b*tch ain't one

So true.



99 Problems - Jay-Z
I've realised that I have absolutely no interest in finding neither a "toy boy" nor a relationship with a guy at the moment, and it is a pretty awesome feeling. I'm currently in a recreational zone, trying to do all of those things that I've always wanted to do, but felt too stressed to be able to deal with at the time being, and there is just no room for a guy in there. Not that I am the type that always has a guy, actually it's quite the opposite, but I am almost always open to finding one. I'll tell you more about my plans later because I'm lazy like that, but enjoy the track ;)
Oh and, problemwise, I think I've mentally solved one of them already. It's work-related, and I think I've finally gotten to terms with what I want to do. I think I want to quit my job, because I haven't exactly been treated right, so it's all for the better I think. And I will now have more time to do what I want! Cheers!

And this old world is a new world and a bold world, and I'm feeling good

Just about to move across a field (and other areas) to get to my Jess' for some Idol-watching. Yesterday was a great day, and I felt good. I met up with Q at the University and did some reading, and then I got my butt to song-practice and my day was complete! Today I've basically just gone to the gym to work on my stamina which has been completely crushed throughout the last couple of years. Now I smell and feel fresh though, so once again, I'm feeling good.

Here's Nina Simone and Muse for ya'll


Feeling Good - Nina Simone
Feeling Good - Muse (Cover version)
PS. The studio-version of the Muse-cover is much better, youtube the video!PS2. His voice is insane!

If I follow the light that I deem the brightest, I won't believe that it's always like this

Feels like I've been on a real roll this weekend. Or well, let's just say this Fri- and Saturday. I've been going out, without actually getting in anywhere, I've hung out with drunks, and I've drank, but I've also met with many of my friends. Friends are real life-boosting people. They make it all worth it I think.

Well, nough bout that. I just wanted to share some music that's been playing a lot in my ears lately. "Old classics" in my eyes.





Always Like This - Bombay Bicycle Club




Don't You Evah - Spoon

If you have a moment to spare...

... read this, I think it's worthy of your time

The Nobel Peace Prize speech

Delivered by Dr. James Orbinski, President of the MSF International Council, in Oslo, Norway on 10 December 1999.

Nobel funds allocated to neglected diseases Read more...

Your Majesties, Your Highness, Members of the Norwegian Nobel Committee, Excellencies, Ladies and Gentlemen:

The people of Chechnya - and the people of Grozny - today, and for more than three months, are enduring indiscriminate bombing by the Russian army. For them, humanitarian assistance is virtually unknown. It is the sick, the old and the infirm who cannot escape Grozny. While the dignity of people in crisis is so central to the honor you give today, what you acknowledge in us is our particular response to it. I appeal here today to his excellency the Ambassador of Russia and through him, to President Yeltsin, to stop the bombing of defenseless civilians in Chechnya. If conflicts and wars are an affair of the state, violations of humanitarian law, war crimes and crimes against humanity apply to us all - as civil society, as citizens and as human beings.

Let me say immediately that the extraordinary distinction that the Nobel Committee has given Médecins Sans Frontières is one that we accept with sincere gratitude. But also with a profound discomfort in knowing that the dignity of the excluded is assaulted daily. These are the forgotten populations in danger, like the street children who struggle each grinding hour to live off the waste of those who are "included" in the social and economic order. These, too, are the illegal refugees that we work with in Europe, denied political status, and afraid to seek health care, lest this contact lead to their expulsion.

Our action is to help people in situations of crisis. And ours is not a contented action. Bringing medical aid to people in distress is an attempt to defend them against what is aggressive to them as human beings. Humanitarian action is more than simple generosity, simple charity. It aims to build spaces of normalcy in the midst of what is profoundly abnormal. More than offering material assistance, we aim to enable individuals to regain their rights and dignity as human beings. As an independent volunteer association, we are committed to bringing direct medical aid to people in need. But we act not in a vacuum, and we speak not into the wind, but with a clear intent to assist, to provoke change, or to reveal injustice. Our action and our voice are acts of indignation, a refusal to accept an active or passive assault on the other.

The honor you give us today could so easily go to so many organizations, or worthy individuals, who struggle in their own society. But clearly, you have made a choice to recognize MSF. We began formally in 1971 as a group of French doctors and journalists who decided to make themselves available to assist those in crisis. This meant sometimes a rejection of the practices of states that directly assault the dignity of people. Silence has long been confused with neutrality, and has been presented as a necessary condition for humanitarian action. From its beginning, MSF was created in opposition to this assumption. We are not sure that words can always save lives, but we know that silence can certainly kill. Over our 28 years we have been - and are today - firmly and irrevocably committed to this ethic of refusal. This is the proud genesis of our identity, and today we struggle as an imperfect movement, but strong in our volunteers and national staff, and with millions of donors who support both financially and morally the project that is MSF. This honor is shared with all who, in one way or another, have struggled and do struggle every day to make live the fragile reality that is MSF.

Humanitarianism occurs where the political has failed or is in crisis. We act not to assume political responsibility, but firstly to relieve the inhuman suffering of that failure. The act must be free of political influence, and the political must recognize its responsibility to ensure that the humanitarian can exist.

Humanitarian action requires a framework in which to act. In conflict, this framework is international humanitarian law. It establishes rights for victims and humanitarian organizations. It fixes the responsibility of states to ensure respect of these rights, and to sanction their violation as war crimes. Today this framework is clearly dysfunctional. Access to victims of conflict is often refused. Humanitarian assistance is even used as a tool of war by belligerents. And more seriously, we are seeing the militarization of humanitarian action by the international community.

In this dysfunction, we will speak to push the political to assume its inescapable responsibility. Humanitarianism is not a tool to end war or to create peace. It is a citizens' response to political failure. It is an immediate, short-term act that cannot erase the long-term necessity of political responsibility.

And ours is an ethic of refusal. It will not allow any moral political failure or injustice to be sanitized or cleansed of its meaning. The 1992 crimes against humanity in Bosnia-Hercegovina. The 1994 genocide in Rwanda. The 1997 massacres in Zaire. The indiscriminate 1999 attacks on civilians in Chechnya. These cannot be masked by terms like "Complex Humanitarian Emergency," or "Internal Security Crisis." Or by any other such euphemism - as though they are some random, politically undetermined event. Language is determinant. It frames the problem and defines response. It defines, too, rights, and therefore responsibilities. It defines whether a medical or humanitarian response is adequate. And it defines whether a political response is inadequate. No one calls a rape a complex gynecologic emergency. A rape is a rape, just as a genocide is a genocide. And both are a crime. For MSF, this is the humanitarian act: to seek to relieve suffering, to seek to restore autonomy, to witness to the truth of injustice and to insist on political responsibility.

The work that MSF chooses does not occur in a vacuum, but in a social order that both includes and excludes, that both affirms and denies, and that both protects and attacks. Our daily work is a struggle, and it is intensely medical, and it is intensely personal. MSF is not a formal institution, and with any luck at all, it never will be. It is a civil society organization, and today civil society has a new global role, a new informal legitimacy that is rooted in its action and in its support from public opinion. It is also rooted in the maturity of its intent, in for example the human rights, the environmental and the humanitarian movements, and of course, the movement for equitable trade. Conflict and violence are not the only subjects of concern. We, as members of civil society, will maintain our role and our power if we remain lucid in our intent and independence.

As civil society we exist relative to the state, to its institutions and its power. We also exist relative to other non-state actors such as the private sector. Ours is not to displace the responsibility of the state. The final responsibility of the state is to include, not exclude, to balance public interests over private interests and to ensure that a just social order exists. Ours is not to allow a humanitarian alibi to mask the state responsibility to ensure justice and security. And ours is not to be co-managers of misery with the state. If civil society identifies a problem, it is not theirs to provide a solution, but it is theirs to expect that states will translate this into concrete and just solutions. Only the state has the legitimacy and power to do this.

Today, in what is now a globalizing market economy, a growing injustice confronts us. More than 90% of all death and suffering from infectious diseases occurs in the developing world. Some of the reasons that people die from diseases like AIDS, TB, sleeping sickness and other tropical diseases are that lifesaving essential medicines are either too expensive, are not available because they are not seen as financially viable, or because there is virtually no new research and development for priority tropical diseases. This market failure is our next challenge. The challenge, however, is not ours alone. It is also for governments, International Government Institutions, the Pharmaceutical Industry and other NGOs to confront this injustice. What we as a civil society movement demand is change, not charity.

We affirm the independence of the humanitarian from the political, but this is not to polarize the "good" NGO against "bad" governments, or the "virtue" of civil society against the "vice" of political power. Such a polemic is false and dangerous. As with slavery and welfare rights, history has shown that humanitarian preoccupations born in civil society have gained influence until they reach the political agenda. But these convergences should not mask the distinctions that exist between the political and the humanitarian. Humanitarian action takes place in the short term, for limited groups and for limited objectives. This is at the same time both its strength and its limitation. The political can only be conceived in the long term, which itself is the movement of societies. Humanitarian action is by definition universal. Humanitarian responsibility has no frontiers. Wherever in the world there is manifest distress, the humanitarian, by vocation, must respond. By contrast, the political knows borders, and where crisis occurs, political response will vary because historical relations, balance of power, and the interests of one or the other must be measured. The time and space of the humanitarian are not those of the political. These vary in opposing ways, and this is another way to locate the founding principles of humanitarian action: the refusal of all forms of problem solving through sacrifice of the weak and vulnerable - no victim can be intentionally discriminated against, or neglected to the advantage of another. One life today cannot be measured by its value tomorrow: and the relief of suffering "here" cannot legitimize the abandoning of relief "over there." The limitation of means naturally must mean the making of choice, but the context and the constraints of action do not alter the fundamentals of this humanitarian vision. It is a vision that, by definition, must ignore political choices.

Today there is a confusion and inherent ambiguity in the development of so-called "military-humanitarian operations." We must reaffirm with vigor and clarity the principle of an independent civilian humanitarianism. And we must

criticize those interventions called "military-humanitarian." Humanitarian action exists only to preserve life, not to eliminate it. Our weapons are our transparency, the clarity of our intentions, as much as our medicines and our surgical instruments. Our weapons cannot be fighter jets and tanks, even if sometimes we think that their use may respond to a necessity. The humanitarian is not the military, and the military is not the humanitarian. We are not the same, we cannot be seen to be the same, and we cannot be made to be the same. Concretely, this is why we refused any funding from NATO member states for our work in Kosovo. And this is why we were critical then and are critical now of the humanitarian discourse of NATO. It is also why, on the ground, we can work side by side with the presence of armed forces, but certainly not under their authority.

The debate on the "Droit d'Ingérence" - the right of state intervention for so called humanitarian purposes - is further evidence of this ambiguity. It seeks to put at the level of the humanitarian the political question of the abuse of power, and to seek a humanitarian legitimacy for a security action through military means. When one mixes the humanitarian with the need for public security, then one inevitably tars the humanitarian with the security brush. It must be recalled that the UN Charter obliges states to intervene sometimes by force to stop threats to international peace and security. There is no need, and indeed a danger, in using a humanitarian justification for this. In Helsinki this weekend governments will sit down to establish the makings of a European army, to be available for humanitarian purposes. We appeal to governments to go no further down this path of dangerous ambiguity. But we also encourage states to seek ways to enforce public security so that international humanitarian and human rights law can be respected.

Humanitarian action comes with limitations. It cannot be a substitute for definitive political action. In Rwanda, early in the genocide, MSF spoke out to demand that genocide be stopped by the use of force. And so did the Red Cross. It was, however, a cry that met with institutional paralysis, with acquiescence to self-interest, and with a denial of political responsibility to stop a crime that was "never again" to go unchallenged. The genocide was over before the UN Operation Turquoise was launched.

I would like for a moment to acknowledge among our invited guests Chantal Ndagijimana. She lost 40 members of her family in Rwanda's genocide. Today she is a part of our team in Brussels. She survived the genocide, but like a million others, her mother and father, brothers and sisters did not. And nor did many hundreds of our national staff. I was MSF's Head of Mission in Kigali during that time. No words can describe the sheer courage with which our Rwandan staff worked. No words can describe the horror that they died in. And no words can describe the deepest sorrow that I and all in MSF will carry always.

I remember what one of my patients said to me in Kigali: "Ummera, Ummera-sha." It is a Rwandan saying that loosely translated means "courage, courage, my friend - find and let live your courage." It was said to me in Kigali at our hospital, by a woman who was not just attacked with a machete, but her entire body rationally and systematically mutilated. Her ears had been cut off. And her face had been so carefully disfigured, that a pattern was obvious in the slashes. There were hundreds of women, children and men brought to the hospital that day, so many that we had to lay them out on the street. And in many cases, we operated on them then and there, as the gutters around the hospital literally ran red with blood. She was one among many - living an inhuman and simply indescribable suffering. We could do little more for her at that moment than stop the bleeding with a few necessary sutures. We were completely overwhelmed, and she knew that there were so many others. She knew and I knew that there were so many others. She said to me in the clearest voice I have ever heard "allez, allez... ummera, ummera-sha" - "go, go... my friend; find and let live your courage."

There are limits to humanitarianism. No doctor can stop a genocide. No humanitarian can stop ethnic cleansing, just as no humanitarian can make war. And no humanitarian can make peace. These are political responsibilities, not humanitarian imperatives. Let me say this very clearly: the humanitarian act is the most apolitical of all acts, but if its actions and its morality are taken seriously, it has the most profound of political implications. And the fight against impunity is one of these implications.

This is exactly what has been affirmed with the creation of the international criminal courts for both the Former Yugoslavia and Rwanda. It is also what has been affirmed with the adoption of statutes for an International Criminal Court. These are significant steps. But today on the 50th anniversary of the Universal Declaration of Human Rights, the court does not yet exist, and the principles have only been ratified by three states in the last year. At this rate, it will take 20 years before the court comes into being. What are we waiting for? Whatever the political costs of creating justice within the community of states, MSF can and will testify that that the human costs of impunity are impossible to bear.

Only states can impose respect for humanitarian law. And that effort cannot be purely symbolic. Srebrenica was apparently a safe haven in which we - as MSF - were present. The UN was also present. The UN said it would protect. It had Blue Helmets on the ground. And the UN stood silent and present - as the people of Srebrenica were massacred.

Given the deadly attempts of UN intervention in former Yugoslavia and Rwanda, which led to the death of thousands, MSF objects to the principles of military intervention which do not stipulate clear frameworks of responsibility and transparency to ensure security. MSF does not want military forces to show that they can put up refugee tents faster than NGOs. UN military operations should be at the service of governments and policies which seek to protect the rights of victims.

If UN military operations are to protect civilian populations in the future, they must go beyond the mea culpa excuses of the Secretary General over Srebrenica and Rwanda. There must be a reform of peacekeeping operations in the UN. Member States of the Security Council should be held publicly accountable for the decisions that they do or do not vote for. Their right to veto should be regulated. And Member States should be bound to ensure that adequate means are made available to implement the decisions they take.

Yes, humanitarian action has limits. It also has responsibility. It is not only about rules of right conduct and technical performance. It is at first an ethic framed in a morality. The moral intention of the humanitarian act must be confronted with its actual result. And it is here where any form of moral neutrality about what is good must be rejected. A negative result that must be rejected is the use of the humanitarian in 1985 to support forced migration in Ethiopia, or the use in 1996 of the humanitarian to support a genocidal regime in the refugee camps of Goma. Abstention is sometimes necessary so that the humanitarian is not used against a population in crisis.

More recently, in North Korea, we were the first independent humanitarian organization to gain access in 1995. However, we chose to leave in the fall of 1998. Why? Because we came to the conclusion that our assistance could not be given freely and independent of political influence from the state authorities. We found that the most vulnerable were likely to remain so, as food aid is used to support a system that in the first instance creates vulnerability and starvation among millions. Our humanitarian action must be given independently, with a freedom to assess, to deliver and to monitor assistance so that the most vulnerable are assisted first. Aid must not mask the causes of suffering. And it cannot be simply an internal or foreign policy tool that creates rather than counters human suffering. If this is the case, we must confront the dilemma and consider abstention as the least of bad options. As MSF, we constantly call into question the limits and ambiguities of humanitarian action - particularly when it submits in silence to the interests of states and armed forces.

Last week, the United States Congress passed a bill authorizing direct food transfers to the rebels in South Sudan. This is a misappropriation of the meaning and intent of humanitarian assistance. It makes food a fuel of war. And it is a dereliction of a state's duty to use any and all political means to address a 17-year-long civil war that has left millions dead. Sudan's civil war today is a human misery where millions are displaced and at risk of starvation and disease; where people are bombed, robbed, looted constantly, and even enslaved, while corporate oil interests are protected; where humanitarian space is so severely restricted that it exists only in pockets; and where we and other NGOs and UN agencies struggle to bring humanitarian assistance and protection. Is food to fuel this war the only political option? Food aid or humanitarian assistance - if it is to be "humanitarian assistance" - cannot be a tool in statecraft. In this case we must denounce this kind of perfidious use of food that confuses the meaning of humanitarian assistance. If the political masks itself in one ambulance, then it is certain that the other ambulance will also be fired on. As well, if food is allowed to be used as a weapon of war then it also legitimates that populations can be starved as a weapon of war.

Independent humanitarianism is a daily struggle to assist and protect. In the vast majority of our projects it is played out away from the media spotlight, and away from the attention of the politically powerful. It is lived most deeply, most intimately in the daily grind of forgotten war and forgotten crisis. Numerous peoples of Africa literally agonize in a continent rich in natural resources and culture. Hundreds of thousands of our contemporaries are forced to leave their lands and their family to search for work, food, to educate their children and to stay alive. Men and women risk their lives to embark on clandestine journeys only to end up in a hellish immigration detention center, or barely surviving on the periphery of our so-called civilized world.

Our volunteers and staff live and work among people whose dignity is violated every day. These volunteers choose freely to use their liberty to make the world a more bearable place. Despite grand debates on world order, the act of humanitarianism comes down to one thing: individual human beings reaching out to those others who find themselves in the most difficult circumstances. And they reach out one bandage at a time, one suture at a time, one vaccination at a time. And for Médecins Sans Frontières, working in more than 80 countries, over 20 of which are in conflict, this also means telling the world of the injustice that they have seen. All this, in the hope that the cycles of violence and destruction will not continue endlessly.

As we accept this extraordinary honor, we want again to thank the Nobel Committee for its affirmation of the right to humanitarian assistance around the globe; for its affirmation of the road MSF has chosen to take, which is to exist in an ethic of refusal, to remain outspoken and to remain committed to its core principles of volunteerism, impartiality and its belief that every person must be recognized in his or her humanity. It is the volunteers and national staff who struggle each day to make these ideals a concrete reality, who have brought at least some small place of peace to those who have experienced immense suffering, and who are the living reality of MSF: Again, thank you.

Source: http://www.msf.org/msf/articles/2000/11/the-nobel-peace-prize-speech.cfm

Vi var målare

Har inte varit speciellt aktiv här på sistone, i alla fall inte mentalt. Har under dagarna letat jobb och jobbat och är nybliven barnvakt för den som är intresserad (alltså mitt framtida jag antagligen). Hur som helst tänkte jag ge ett exempel på vad jag gjort på sistone i textform. Detta skrev jag på impuls i måndags. Impuls så till den grad att jag skrev den på bara ett par minuter och inte behandlat den för fem öre. När jag läst den fler gånger märkte jag att den alltså är väldigt ärlig, men jag vill fortfarande lägga vantarna på den och finjustera lite i framtiden ordvalsmässigt. Men. Här.

Vi var målare

Jag
sitter och fryser i soffan
kanske inuti
kanske utanpå
för luften jag andas är ju trots allt sketen
och teet har slutat värma
och energin är snål
och lamporna lyser endast för släckta hus
och jag finner fler än fem fel nu

Och när jag tänker efter
så fanns det ett hål i golvet när vi kom hit, ett,
stort svart hål som gjorde mig ängslig
och vi målade över det
så att kylan skulle försvinna

Och nu sitter jag här i soffan och fryser
för när vi målat klart
sögs du upp i hålet
för fantasin försvann, eller
om du försvann i fantasin

Men jag har våra bilder kvar
och där ler du mot mig eller lyckan,
jag vet inte

och jag försöker fortfarande veta
och nu har draget börjat tillta
och mina strumpor har jag dragit upp till knäna

- Litage

What's broken can always be fixed; what's fixed will always be broken

Your Arms Around Me - Jens Lekman

Just saw Whip it! again and it's a really awesome movie. This song is probably the best one from the soundtrack although most of them are really good. The scene when this music is played is extremely cute and totally worth watching!

Sleepy

Hi! Long time no nothing. I know, I'm not too good at this updating-thingy to be quite frank. Well, I have not too much to air.

I just realised something however. What things I always crave when I'm in serious lack of sleep, it honestly never fails, so here goes....

Things Litage's body craves when tired:

• Hot chocolate.
• Some sort of sweetness. (cherries, berries, ice cream, (cup)cakes, candy, pannacotta etc)
• Tea/Coffee. Sometimes both.
• Movie-watching that slowly but surely develops into a cinema movie-watching desire.
• Warm/cosy clothing.
• Sleep! (And pillows)

If you thought I'd wait for you, you thought wrong

I love this vid.

If I Were A Boy - Beyoncé

I've starting singing with a group, like, "singing classes". Only, it doesn't really feel like it. It's more like we're a bunch of random people who would never have met if it weren't for the fact that we share an interest in singing. I was there for the first time last week, and it turns out that we are in very different stages in life, and very different ages, and I loved it. Going there again tonight, and I am absolutely thrilled. Cheerio!

Portabel dimma

Fyrtio procent. Bergsprängar'n jag låtit agera social superman smyger strilande sida vid sida med mina redan rossliga stämband. Jag är nog Joplins misslyckade tvillingsjäl med denna svekfullt bristande genialitet man så stilfullt kallar konstnärlig elegans. Berg sprängs vidare till chict repad skiva med slumpmässigt valda ord.


Fem komma sju procent. x3. Kvällen börjar tillsynes dalande, tillfälligt stigande. Dags att varna Duracell, jag leker dödligt vapen med mina medmän och träffar mer än morgondagen tål. Med i dansen har ett vingel börjat spinna på, men med i leken är jag fasiken ändå.


Nitton procent. Ett samtal och tre sms senare i hörbar norrländsk klang har kärlek förklarats på otippat obekant manér och batteriet blivit lidande. Omsorgsfulla händer leder fram till närmsta T och orden ”klarar du dig hem?” får mig att drucket, men förkonstlat, le.


Fyra procent. Mobilen signalerar att ”nu kolar jag snart vippen” och Daniel, 35, med det nyinköpta BR-pusslet som ska hjälpa vinna vårdnadstvisten bjuder in och bjuder ut. Jag ler igen och tänker att mina fickor känns tomma på betryggande medel men solen busar bakom trötta hus.


Noll procent. Energi. När jag graciöst tagit mig förbi trapphusets fientligt ekande pass väntar sömn på de små timmarnas flygande matta. Ja, Aladdin hade kanske varit stolt men imorn får jag ju tackla konsekvenser.

- Litage

Brits

Just my kind of "geeky" appearance. I am officially sold. I knew he could sing from the moment he entered the screen, very attractive. This is why I still watch Idol. There's still hope for humanity! Haha..

Never satisfied

When I first heard this song, I couldn't help myself from laughing, it fits in very well with my own thinking-patterns. Not everything she sings because she is way too cocky for me to be her replica, but a lot of it is unfortunately true. I think it has to do with the expectations you develop when you meet someone that you immediately click with. Expectations are often enemies, and also pretty difficult to fight off. This song I'd like to dedicate to a friend who I think could recognise herself in the lyrics, at least to some extent, Jess.

Nöjd? - Veronica Maggio

McDreamy?

The Johnny Cash portrayed in Walk the Line, with Joaquin Pheonix's looks would be pretty close to possessing all the qualities I personally look for in a man. But everything is relative, and I have no real guide.
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One of these days these boots are gonna walk all over you

These Boots Are Made For Walkin' - Nancy Sinatra

If there's something NewLook knows, it has got to be boots. Ankle boots, High leg boots, High heel boots, you name it. After having had several cups of tea today, I found my cup of tea boot-wise. I give to you the: Leather Lace Up Biker Boots, my new crave!

Hey, mr. Bad Boy!

Sunday I spent at my father's girlfriend's son's birthday party. 'S. I stumbled in wearing my lovely lovely wellingtons (which I love) and a lovely lovely hangover so when Cesar, the birthday-boy, started bumping around all over the apartment playing with a balloon my energy level hit zero. This, I learnt, was a bit unfortunate for me as one of Ceasar's half-brothers seemed quite interesting, short-spoken as he was. I might have attempted to make conversation if I was my normal self.

Colin Farrel, famous bad boy, and one of the hottest men alive imo.

I don't know what it is, but as soon as some guy (usually the kind that wears hoodie), gives you the silent-treatment, or seems generally less kind in some way, he quickly gains my attention. The "bad boy", or the one that you know means trouble - my weakest link. Today when I went to the grocery store I looked my absolute worst. I have a harsh cold, so I put on my comfiest/warmest clothes which put together make an incredible mismatch. My hair a mess, and with no make up on, my red nose could be passed for a warning sign. Haha okay, I admit, that last part was quite an exaggeration, but you get the picture, right? Well, I was looking for garlic when suddenly I feel this guy's gaze upon me, so I look up, and what do I see, if not another of the kind. He must've hit his head hard (or he might have been high - who knows), because when I saw him later outside it almost looked like he was trying to flirt. Maybe my cold has made me hallucinate...

Self Esteem - Veronica Maggio (Offspring-cover)

Well, what I wanted to get to with this post however is: Why is the "bad boy" so attractive - when deep down, I think we all know that if he can be "repaired" at all, chances are really small we will be the ones "fixing" him?

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Neopolitan Dreams

Neopolitan Dreams - Lisa Mitchell (Nilow Dubstep Remix)

I had plans to go to Fotografiska (The Museum of Photograhy in my own translation) and meet up with a  friend afterwards, but when I woke up today my cold had practically conquered my throat.

I guess I have myself to blame, I ignored the irritation in my throat yesterday and sat down with my guitar, singing Brown Eyed Girl instead of letting my voice relax, like I often do when I'm sick. I guess rebellion is always answered somehow. Enjoy the Dub!

Dear blog!

Let me tell you about my week-end! Friday I.. Well to be completely honest I don't really remember what happened on Friday, but I don't think I did much. Saturday however, I spent partly cleaning up my room, and organising my clothes. Even though I am known for having a floor-closet (meaning my clothes often form a carpet-like layer on the floor of my room) I do actually demand order amongst my different clothes. T-shirts, blouses, skirts and stockings all have their particular homes in my drawers, and now I have rearranged it all so that, hopefully, the floor-closet will be used less.

After organising my clothes, I took off for dinner at Jess', where she told us less-knowing people about fresher's week (or weeks, as they are two here in Sweden). It sounded really interesting, and very camp-like, I'm looking forward to my own freshers in Scotland next year! Having pissed off some of my friends with games where logical thinking is not the key, but where the silly little details are instead (which by the by is extremely frustrating), I took off again to have a few beers with some friends. I was rather reluctantly dragged off to an "afterparty" consisting of four people (me included) which I surprisingly didn't have to regret. One of the others had the key to an old theatre where he usually has band-practise, and sneaking around in the airy halls tipsy was exactly what I needed!




This is not the theatre I visited, but I thought it looked nice.



They had very random instruments like a gong and some xylophones, but also a concert piano that I couldn't keep my hands off. It was like a dream! The smell of excitement from times past and the ability to play music together with the notion of not actually being allowed there at that time of night was amazing! If I could return, I would! I love everything that has to do with stages! The downside was however that my piano-playing after drinking was pretty flawed.

I came home at 6 o' clock in the morning, but it was all worth it. Even the awkwardness of having to reject an almost "rape-kiss" at one point in the night. Guys! Please stop doing that! It puts the other person in a really uncomfortable situation!

the Romantics

It's 4 a clock in the morning and I'm in a serious lack of sleep, and part of me wants to stay lurking in the closet, but part of me says not to, so... In lack of better judgement, I'm going to tell you a big, fat, juicy secret about me. I am somewhat of a romantic. Bam! There! I said it! And this, my dear readers, is a real kiss.

(Ps. If you've seen the series, you'll probably understand better)

the Reader's list

I think I might have told you about a "task" I've had this summer to read all the Harry Potter books in a row. First I was supposed to have finished in time before the release of the last Harry Potter-film, but then  I took away the time-limit as I was just about to finish the second book at the premiere. There are a few books that I have been wanting to read now, for quite some time, that I have decided to read before Christmas instead, and a few of them will probably not be on this list, as my memory might be flawed. So here goes:

1. Harry Potter and the Order of the Phoenix - J. K. Rowling
2. Harry Potter and the Half-Blood Prince - J. K. Rowling
3. Harry Potter and the Deathly Hallows - J. K. Rowling
4. Mein Kampf - Adolf Hitler
5. Jane Eyre - Charlotte Brontë
6. The Communist Manifesto - Karl Marx & Friedrich Engels
7. Les Misérables - Victor Hugo (In French)
8. Kokain: Drogen som fick medelklassen att börja knarka och länder att falla samman - Lasse Wierup & Erik de la Reguera

And maybe also "Cannabusiness, om konsten att legalisera en drog" - Johan Anderberg
As you might have understood the last two mentioned books are about drugs. This is mainly because I have always had a sort of interest in the use and abuse of these and their consequences. (I'm not a crackwhore - even though it sometimes might seem like it) Ps. The books will not necessarily be read in that particular order.

It's funny because a friend and I had a conversation about something similar some week ago where planning on bringing a sofa outside someone's livingroom window, look up the TV-guide and come and watch the films we wouldn't be able to see at home. Hehe, I know, it wasn't a very serious conversation, but honestly though, it would be fun, wouldn't it?



And the road becomes my bride, I have stripped of all but pride, so in her I confide

Roots. Listening to Metallica is truly coming home, it's been too long. Just listen to those drums and that guitar.

Wherever I May Roam - Metallica

A few moments ago.

Why isn't my scar from the infection going away? I'm starting to seriously wonder if it ever will.. I really hope it does!

I don't think it's all too visible on this picture but if you see a darker spot right above my eyelashes, that'd be it. It's not eyeshadow or anything.

"What is the exact function of a rubber duck?"

I don't actually have much to say now, but I can't seem to make myself fall asleep just yet, so just to clear my brains out, I guess I could tell you a few truths about this very moment.

Wish I'd had this book to read now, I should've bought it when I saw it in Glasgow earlier this year. I mean with a killer-title like this one, how could it be anything other than great reading?

1. I am hungry, but I don't feel like anything in the fridge is all that appealing (don't you hate it when you develop immunity towards the insides of your refridgerator?)
2. I always tell other people to read the manuals of stereos and such to be able to sleep as they are long and dull, but I've never actually done it myself.
3. I refuse to follow my own advice (see point no.2).
4. Still refusing.
5. Yeah, see, I didn't really have anything to say this once.

Hope you're finding it easier to sleep than I am, if you have any good advice on how to lure your brain into sleep-mode feel free to share this valuable information.

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Beyond Borders

Angelina Jolie is growing on me. I recently heard from a random person that I look like her, which was pretty unexpected and of course very untrue. I googled some pictures of her just to check if I could see any resemblance (yes, I'm the type of person that does that) and nothing. But I did however understand now why people thinks she is beautiful, sh has very classical lines and very nice eyes. I especially thought that was visible in this picture, and also, I realised that I really liked her makeup in it, it look very naturally soft. I'll probably try it out some of these days.

I do not own the rights to this picture or any other picture on this blog unless I claim otherwise.

That was of course Angelina in very shallow terms, but I do support the whole "save-the-world" stuff she does also, and I especially enjoy her acting in films that are not action-related, she is an incredibe actress; see Changeling and Beyond Borders. I also like her tattoos and the names of her adopted children, and the idea of adopting children.

I just want this night with you,

Sthlm, June.

Brutal Hearts - Bedouin Soundclash (feat. Coeur de Pirate)

Confession. When I first listened, I mean really listened to this song I actually dropped a few tears. They just slid out of my eyes. Don't know if I can recall the last time that happened for me with a song, or if it ever has. It might not entirely be the song's "fault", but I know it had a lot to do with it, so criticise it wisely, because both the voices and the lyrics are darn good in my opinion. It just feels like such an honest piece of music it makes me almost shiver.

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Eye-sweetenings

A Friday-treat to the eye

Hayden Christensen

You are my rock n' roll queen

I'm not sure if I've told you this, but I had a very long rock/metal-period in my youth, hehe, okay that made me sound incredibly old, but I am actually still in my youth. Let me refrase that, I had a very long rock/metal-period a few years back when all I wanted was to look a female version of Anthony Kiedis, the leadsinger of Red Hot Chili Peppers. Okay, so the band itself might not be too heavy metal, but his clothes were great. When I look at pictures now however, I suspect I might have been looking more at the very buff, and very tattooed arms when establishing that.

Anyways, my point being, that from that period of time I collected a large amount of different bands and songs that I still listen to today, but maybe not as frequently as back then. I do however still find new bands of similar types of music that I get attached to very easily as my ears have already had it's "adjustment period." Maybe it's true what some say, once a "rocker", always a rocker? What d'u reckon?

Rock & Roll Queen - The Subways

Now, to say this band is anything like what I used to listen to, would be very dumb. They're not at all as rough and dark neither melody, nor text-wise. What they do have is however voice, attitude, and the familiarity of garagey-electric guitars. Me likey.

Poesie Album

Poesie Album - Samy Deluxe

Track recommended to me by a friend. Despite my lack of understanding, and despite my difficulties with appreciating the sound of the German language, I think this song did well in bettering up my image of it.

Pwetty wittle sings

Just to show off the pretty little items I have gotten lately, the first tiny little vase is from my aunt and the second two objects are from a dear, but crazy, China of mine.

If you, as I did, feel a bit mystified by the third thing, in contrast to the second, quite self-explanatory bottle, I can inform you that the hunny-like jar contains lip balm applicable with the spoon-like thing. Like. Such things are derivable from Korea as it turns out, where C was hiding out for a few weeks this summer.

 

And one just to show how big these gifts actually are...

Adorable, innit!



No dawn, no day, I'm always in this twilight

Just thought I'd share a track that I've been listening to a lot lately. It has been especially helpful in summoning some of my energy at 5-ish in the mornings these past few days when I've had to open up a coffee shop I've been working at. Did you read that by the way? At 5-ish!!! Anywhu, it's sort of strange for me to be listening to this one at that ungodly hour as I'm usually the subdued-morning tunes-type otherwise. I do however looove the escalation in it; njoy!

Cosmic Love - Florence + The Machine

Ah, and just as a PS, my quiet (or perhaps non-existent) readers, if you ever feel like promoting a song or have a music blog you'd like me to see then feel free to tell me in the comments, and I'll be more than happy to check it out. I am, after all, a music maniac as you might've figured that out already.

And I'm talking any kind of music, I swear I'll give it a shot!

Missed

Om Du Lämnade Mig Nu - Lars Winnerbäck ft. Melissa Horn

Saknar redan detta förjävla mycket.

All that I had, is all I'm gon' get

Playing en route in my headphones these days. The Twilight-movies have great soundtracks, and there ain't no way of denying it, regardless of how much you might loath the films.

Possibility - Lykke Li

In France

Det ekar över hela staden

Now I'll be off up north for a few days somewhat unexpectedly, got a few things to sort out which means I'll be missing out on a few happenings in the city. Could be good to get a bit of distance I guess (at least I won't be able to shop away all my money this way which is basically what I've been up to lately). Time to get some soulsearch done. See you in a bit!

Haven.

 

Välkommen In - Veronica Maggio

To my bestest of friends because I wish you all the joy (:

Invictus

I saw this movie a few days ago with my brother and it was pretty emotional, I really liked it. Movies are supposed to move. If you ever have a spare pair of hours I strongly recommend you watch it. Not only does the music remind of the long-loved Disney classic "The Lion King", but it has plenty of content without being overly heavy for that matter. Another very valid reason to watch it would be getting to hear Morgan Freeman interpret the poem "Invictus", this could however also be done just by searching for it on youtube. It's a very good poem, I must say. Something I might actually want to ink myself with someday...

Out of the night that covers me,
Black as the pit from pole to pole,
I thank whatever gods may be
For my unconquerable soul.

In the fell clutch of circumstance
I have not winced nor cried aloud.
Under the bludgeonings of chance
My head is bloody, but unbowed.

Beyond this place of wrath and tears
Looms but the Horror of the shade,
And yet the menace of the years
Finds and shall find me unafraid.

It matters not how strait the gate,
How charged with punishment the scroll,
I am the master of my fate:
I am the captain of my soul.

- William Ernest Henley (1848-1903),

My Heart Is Refusing Me

My Heart Is Refusing Me - Loreen

I couldn't believe it when I read this girl competed in the Swedish Melody Festival to get to Eurovision. I usually don't connect the competitors in that contest with true talent, I guess I'll have to watch my tongue in the future. That she didn't win is however no news to me, of course she couldn't win, Sweden and Europe don't want originality.

Only love, Amy Winehouse

D*mn, what is up with this whole dead at 27-thing? I agree with what Big Boi from Outcast twittered today "Kurt Cobain, Janis Joplin, Jim Morrison, Jimi Hendrix and now Amy Winehouse. All died aged 27. RIP to you all."

I've never really properly listened to Amy Winehouse's music, but realised how good she was this spring when I was googling Cockney accents and ended up watching a few of her interviews and videos instead. Man, is her voice incredible! She sure seemed like a cool person, someone to look up to, despite her drug-problems. Why? She seems like someone who'd stand her ground no matter what.

Cheers Amy

Take The Box - Amy Winehouse (Acoustic Version)

Rest in peace

Waaah!!!

I look like a bloody mongrel. Something (probably a mosquito) bit me 5 times just below my eyebrow this Monday so I had to attend my job tryout yesterday looking like Shrek! No jokes! It stings like f'ck and I just want it to bloody go away, but it almost seems infected. I mean, why else would it last for such a long time? Stubborn f'ck!

Heh, okay. I'll get back to you blog, I just felt like airing my frustration online. (Feels slightly new)

I am a parasite

for further explanatory development of this remark.. Well, you might have to ask, because I will probably forget about it. As for now, I'd just like to point out that there is absolutely no point being tired. D'ya hear that oh God of Tiredness.!? Or maybe Sandman, whatevs. No point! So could you please spare me?
I lost 45 minutes of deadly important, highly serious football yesternight, and might I say I am extremely annoyed at that! Leave. Me. Alone!

MJ knows what I'm talking about. Ps. Have you noticed how innovative his videos are? Artsy, artsy...

Leave Me Alone - Michael Jackson

.44 Calibre Magnum

Viggo Mortensen's got a ridiculous impact on my libido.

Just randomly found a cute quote btw. I guess it's falsifiable:

Any man who can drive safely while kissing a pretty girl

is simply not giving the kiss the attention it deserves. 

- Albert  Einstein

But this estranged organ in my chest still beats for you

I Have Loved You Wrong - The Swell Season

These two musicians are a pair of ol' favourites of mine I got to know of in the movie "Once", it's a pretty sweet little movie about nothing and everything and life. If you like those kinds of films then I recommend it, otherwise their music is enjoyable. I almost prefer their non-sung tracks more than the ones in which they sing though. Why, I'm not sure.

I just shot a man down

I usually dislike/don't listen to Rihanna, but I actually quite enjoy listening to this song. Her voice is edgy and all too often gives me allergic reactions but along with Reggae/Dancehall it sort of fits, maybe.

Man Down - Rihanna

Yesterday's concert was great! I loved the base together with the reggae-beat in the loud speakers and oh my god was Ziggy able to get the vibe going without any real spectacular scene-show (and not everyone in the audience were smoking up if that's what you think). Thumbs up! (Hate that expression, dunno why I used it). The only thing that failed a bit sad was that it seemed as though Ziggy feels the need to play many of his father's songs (which then again are great) to gain support of the masses, when really, his own songs are good enough not to have to depend on Bob's legacy.

Look who's dancin'

Ziggy Marley @ Gröna Lund tonight with my brother. Wiiew! I might've missed Bob's legendary gig there due to the unfortunate event of me being born too late, but I will not miss his charming son's show at least.

Look Who's Dancing - Ziggy Marley

F'ck this, I really am going to Hogwarts

At twelve sharp last night I received a notification in my mailbox about something having changed on my UCAS status. I have been waiting for this to happen for a few days now and became all shakily nervous (even though I probably shouldn't have been since I had already fulfilled all the criteria of my offer) when entering the website.

This is what met my eye.

"The current status of your application is:

Congratulations! Your place at University of Glasgow (G28) to study Politics (L202) has been confirmed.

You will receive a Confirmation Letter shortly."

Sub sub sub...

Sure, I took it last summer, but it's still applicable to my sentiments today.

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It's all good as long as nobody's caught

Unstoppable - Ill Bill

My cousin's been here today visiting me and me bruvah, but whilst the guys went down to kick some ball at the beach I decided to do something else, so I went biking to Vällingby to look for some stuff to make my room more liveable. He also put this song on and I thought it sounded pretty groovey so yeah. Unstoppable 'tis!

A few pieces of clothing I've thrown my cash on lately

And today's purchases.

The book will be my person-book. I know it might sound silly but I've thought about it for a while now and I'd be nice to scribble down a few words about inspiring people I've met somewhere so I can go back and look at the wonderful personas of my life later on, when needed. Remembering is one of the most important gifts we have, and if I'd ever get amnesia, I think this book might come in handy.

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Wohooo!

Time to give my room a proper make-over! Hopefully this song'll help me out a bit to get into the right mindset.

Song 2 - Blur

Thin Ice

Why are my warning lights seemingly out of function right now?

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No logo.

UCAS-trouble.

Sent in my certified copies of my qualifications to my universities today, after much fuzz about addresses. I am a complete nervous wreck when it comes to the whole application process. Everything has to be done 100% correct. That is why I got a big rock in my chest when I heard from a friend that I should've included a note with my UCAS ID number, which I of course didn't do...  Well, they're on their way to England and Scotland now anyhow. I hope they'll reach their final destinations in a neat way.

Aren't those the longest addresses you've ever seen btw? It seems Swedish addresses are almost half those of Scotland. Maybe that's a truth.

Graduation

Never really uploaded any images of my graduation. Just founda few lying about in the stationary computer which I hadn't seen. The funny thing about them is that in each of the ones that I found I'm wearing the same half-oppressed smile, which is also the same smile I had when I was a little kid, which you can see...

...here...

... and here...

And you get soaking wet on the trunks called "flak" where you dance to the sound of loud music (if you have good speakers) and pour alcohol on your fellow mates while circling around town and screaming. I like that Swedish tradition.